Speech 2010 (extended version)

Hello,

Today I participated in the 13th speech contest. I think it has become customary of me to participate every other year (i.e to participate once every 2 years).

As always, I did not get any ranks or prizes, but that's okay this year, because I was not very well prepared, my performance wasn't very good and did not deserve a rank.

Below is my speech.

I actually wrote this one for last year's contest but did not participate. T-sensei tremendously helped me to flesh out the speech and important ideas, so a big thank you goes to him.

Note that as the title says, this is the full version. My actual speech was made smaller to fit in 5.5 minutes.

korekara, enjoy and let me know what you think :)

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言語の力

今日、外国語としての日本語の勉強についてお話したいと思います。

「あなたはなぜ日本語を勉強しますか」。この質問を聞くと、どのように答えるのか、いつも困っています。私が日本に留学する、または日本で働く計画があったら、一言で答えられたかもしれません。しかし、このような目的がないので、うそになります。「日本がすきだ。日本人が好きだ」という答えは、簡単でも中等半端な答えになります。

答えようとするといつも、話が長くなって結局答えが見えにくくなってしまいます。どうやって説明すればいいだろうといつも迷います。いくら頑張ってもはっきりして、簡潔な答えはなかなかでてきません。

私の日本文化への入り口はティーンエージャーの頃によくしていたテレビゲームでした。テレビゲームをすると、どんどんそのゲームの開発に深い関心を持つようになりました。内容がとてもクリエーティブで、楽しいそのゲームは誰が、どうやって作ったのかを調べてみたとき、日本がゲーム産業のリーダー的存在ということが分かりました。それから、日本や日本人のことをもっと知りたくなりました。でもそのときは日本語の学習にあまり興味がありませんでした。

高校生の時、私の先生が、外国語学習について話していたとき、「親戚の一人は日本語を習って、日本へ行くチャンスをもらった。彼の話によって、日本語は全然難しくない」と言いました。その言葉に大変驚きました。言葉としてやさしい日本語を勉強したら、日本へ行くめったにない機会を手に入れることが簡単にできると思いました。

大学に入ってから、私は日本語の勉強を始めました。最初は簡単でしたが、しばらく勉強すると、だんだん複雑になっていきました。そして日本へ行くチャンスは簡単に手に入れられないことが分かりました。

「日本語を勉強してもどうにもならない、もういいんだ！」と思いました。私はやる気を失って６ヶ月の間、日本語の勉強を止めてしまいました。その間、続けるかどうか、じっくり考えました。勉強続けたいなら、有意義な目的が必要だと思いました。そのとき今までの日本語の勉強を振り返ってみました。日本語を勉強初めてから、人生にどのようなポジティブな影響があったのかを考えて見ました。

日本語の勉強をはじめてから、私の世界が広がったと感じました。まったく違う文化を持っている人に紹介されることで、自分とその人の同じところと違うところが気づくようになります。そして自分のいいところをもっと大切にして、良くないところを見極めて、直すような考え方を持つようになります。そして、なにより大切なのは、人間であることの意味が分かることです。このような思いをもって日本語の勉強を続けたいと決断しました。

でも、こういう話は偉そうに聞こえるかもしれません。・・・ですから、答えとして言わないほうがいいと思います。もっとシンプルな答えが必要だと思います。

三年前に私はようやく日本へ行くことが出来ました。二週間の日本語研修プログラムでした。このプログラムの中でホームステーがありました。大阪の岸和田に住んでいる日本人家族の家での一泊二日のホームステーでした。とても短いホームステーでしたが、ホームステー家族ととても仲良くなりました。私はホームステー家族の孫とおしゃべりをしていたときにホームステーのお母さんは私に対して「サーメルさんは日本語を喋るから、親近感がある」といいました。

親近感・・・・

なるほど～！ホームステーのお母さんの言葉で、その瞬間までまったく気付いていなかったことが分かるようになりました。

それは言葉の「人を繋ぐ」力でした。

言語とその言葉にはどんなに人と人の間を狭めることができるのかが分かるようになりました。人とコミュニケーションをするために、英語などの媒介語を使うことができます。しかし情報が正確に伝わっても、何らかの壁があると感じます。

私はその壁に直面して、超えたことがあります。ヨルダンに戻ってから、週に1回日本人のランゲージパートナーに会うことになりました。日本語とアラビア語を使って、日本とヨルダンの話をたくさんしました。もちろん、使っていた日本語とアラビア語は必ずしも正しいというわけじゃありませんでしたが、相手にたいして日本語を使って、またかれにアラビア語で話しかけられて、お互いの言葉に深いかかわりと親近感を感じました。

相手への気持ちを伝えるにはその相手の言葉を使って、コミュニケーションをしなければなりません。それができたら、本当のコミュニケーションが成り立ちます。違う文化、違う価値観、違う考え方を持った人と接する機会がどんどん増えてきた私たちの現代社会に色々な国言葉を学ぶことは重要になります。

このような理解をもって、私はついに求めていた簡潔な答えを見つけました。
「あなたはなぜ日本語を勉強しますか」と聞かれたら、
「私は日本語を使って日本をより深く理解して、日本人に自分のこと伝えることができるから」と答えます。

あの時、俺の欲しかったものは玩具なんか、じゃなかった・・

このセリフは好きなアニメからとった。最近頭を離れない言葉だ

好きなアニメと言っているのに、実は、まだ見ていない。第１エピソードの半分さえ見なかった。分かる。分かる。ばかに見えるだろう

そうだったら、なんで好きだというのか。心の傾向かも知れないけど、このアニメは名前で気に入った。

「表紙で本を判断してはいけない」という。それは分別ある話だね。それを考えて、カバーのほうが名前で判断するよりましだと思うようにね。でも、時々名前はたくさん語ると思う。意味が深くて、心と直接話して、動かせる名前があると思う。

このアニメは実際にいいかわるいか、まだ分からないけど、悪かったら、僕は許すと思う。かまわないんだ。もう名前だけで意味を十分引き出して、僕の目でこのアニメは何かいいことを象徴するはずだから。

このアニメの名前は「人間交差点」だ。

あと、他の作品の種類にもこういうところがある。僕は十年前の好きなバンドの名前は「ソウル・アサイラム」だった（訳：魂の隠れ場所／保護施設）。この名前は何かを語ると思わないか。僕はこのバンドはいろいろのところで弱いと分かるとともに、名前を含めていろいろの理由で好きだ。

最後に言いたいことは、名前はたくさん語る。名前は全て語る。名前を選ぶなら、「想い」を込めて良く考えておいてよ！

No Level 2 this year

September 30 was the last application date and I did not apply. It is really difficult to study Japanese when you have a lot of work to do. I spent a lot of the first half of this year coming and going (mostly on a short notice) to Saudi Arabia and so I could not take lessons, and I could not study while traveling for work (it was strictly work, food, sleep, and in the little free time I had, I could not do anything that involved thinking).

So there you have it: no Level 2 JLPT exam for me this year.

Too bad.

Suddenly this looks like a big red button to me.

私たちが作るしか、問題がない

昔のある日、僕はお父さんとバクア難民キャンプへ野菜を買いに行った。

バクアの市場での野菜は新鮮で、安いからだ。

あそこで、僕が歩きながら、クルアーンの録音を聴いた。クルアーンのレシテーションをついて行こうとして、宗教の本を売る本屋を見つけた。

店を見ると、一人の友達がお勧めした本を思い出して、入った。

ちょっと探した後、本は僕の手にあった。あの時、お金を持っていないし、お父さんから遠く離れていたし、僕は困った。手に入れたい本を持って、どうしようとおもいながら、しばらく眺めていた。

そのとき、店員は僕に近づいて「手伝いできることがある？」と聞いた。

困った僕：あのー、この本が欲しいけど、問題がある・・

店員（微笑みながら）：私たちが作るしか、問題がないんだよ。どうした？

困った僕：えーとー、今お金を持っていないけど・・

店員：それだけ？じゃあ、とっていいよ

助かりそうな僕：ほんと？！

店員：いいよ

助かった僕：ありがとうございました!

Be なれ كن

Since its been boring here lately, I thought I'd share with you something I wrote this February, even though it is only mildly related to Japanese.

It's mostly unedited so you'll find rough edges here and there. Anyway, read on if you want..

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Be

Have you ever noticed that many of our actions are not discrete? You don’t just do or not do them. There are degrees to some actions, and each degree is usually described by a different verb. You could be hearing something, but not listening to it. You could be seeing something, but not looking at it. But you are essentially doing the same action. In the same vain, you can understand something, but not comprehend it.

In the year 2008, I experienced this difference first-hand. I came to comprehend something that I have known and understood for as long as I can remember.

Since I was a child, I was taught about fate. That everything that happens is preordained by God. It was a simple concept to understand. So, everything only happens if and when God wants it to happen, right? Okay, I get it! I was taught about how God saved Prophet Abraham when his townsmen threw him into the fire to burn. God only told the fire to “Be cold and safe on Abraham” and so it became. Then Abraham went out of the flame unharmed. I was taught about how Mary reacted when the angel told her that she will bear a child “how can I bear a child when no one had touched me?!” and the angel replied that if God wants it to be so, simply it so becomes. No matter how difficult or impossible it may seem to you. Mary bore and gave birth to Jesus, without any person touching her. I was taught to believe in fate and accept whatever it may bring.

It was all simple to understand, but did understanding it and believing in it really make a difference to me? Did it touch my life and affect how I perceive things? Not until the year 2008. That was when I fully comprehended it.

In 2008, I had two experiences that taught me exactly what fate means.

Once, in an early weekend morning, around 7:30 am, I was driving to meet my friends in a park to jog. I was not certain where the place was. I had to make a U-turn at one of the big circles along the Medical City Street. This much I knew, but I did not know which circle it was. So I was looking left before every circle, just before I go into the tunnel beneath it, to see if I reached the park and whether this is where I have to turn or not.

It was 7:30 on a weekend and there were barely any other cars on the street. So, I drove full-speed and as I approached one of the tunnels, I looked continuously to the left to search for the park’s entrance. When I was just at the entrance of the tunnel and the street slopped downwards, I returned my eyes towards the street and found a pick-up stopped right in the middle of the tunnel’s entrance. By the time I saw it, I was just a few meters away from it. At that moment, I had one hand on the top part of the steering wheel (at 12 o’clock). Without panicking or thinking, in one sweeping motion, I tilted the wheel a few inches to the left, dodged the pick-up and returned the wheel a few inches back to its normal position. I looked back and thought what the heck is this idiot doing stopping in the middle of the tunnel’s entrance? Certainly not what I was expecting!

A moment later, when it was over, I started to wonder: Why am I calm? Why didn’t I panic? Why isn’t my heart pounding hard? How did I turn the wheel at such high speed without the car losing control and hitting the tunnel walls? How did I go out of this so easily? How am I still alive and unhurt? How stupid can I be to look elsewhere when driving full speed into a tunnel? Except for the last question (answer: very, very stupid apparently), I did not understand all that, but I knew one thing for certain: Skill was not involved here. I know my driving skills and reaction speed, and if you ever rode with me, you know my driving skills very well. The only explanation I could think of was that God did not want this potentially horrible and tragic accident to happen. God did not want me to get hurt or die in that moment.

This was when I realized that no matter how unaware and unprepared for a difficult situation I am, no matter how taken by surprise by that situation I am, that if God wants it to pass through, I will go by unaffected.

In March 2008, on the day of the Japanese speech contest, I was waiting for my turn and preparing to take the first prize. I had written and revised my speech into final form with my teacher. I had something meaningful to say and I felt strongly about it. I was the only participant to memorize my speech. I even practiced gestures to do while I give my speech. I was the only participant wearing a suit. In short, I was fully prepared. I worked very hard and the Japanese teachers and my friends can tell you that, heck, even my colleagues at work can tell you that I worked hard for the contest. I had experience; I already participated many times and was mostly over my stage fright. I knew what made every participant before me win and I used that knowledge the best way I could. All the pieces were set for me to get first place.. Or if something somehow went wrong, to get second or third place even. In other words, I worked much harder than any past speech contest, and expected to get a higher ranking.

And then the speech contest started. And then my turn was next. No problem I told my excited self. Been there, done that, right? Last year I faired well and made some fans even. When it was my turn, I looked at the crowd in preparation for my speech, and the unexpected happens: my heart starts pounding hard. Why?! I didn’t feel scared of the crowd! Why?! Last year, it didn’t happen, this year it shouldn’t! I did not understand; it was almost bewildering, but it was my turn and I had to do it. Calm down, take a breath.

My heart is still pounding. I went behind the stand, introduced myself and started talking. I did everything, talking without a paper, tone changes, looking around, gesturing. Things went almost as I had planned them to except for a few things. My heart was beating hard and the moment I started my speech, I just wanted to finish and leave the stand. My talking speed was a little fast. Even though I looked at people around me, unlike last year, I could not make eye contact, as if things were blurry or I was looking right over people’s eyes. In the conclusion, I hesitated a few of times.

Then it was time for the verdict. While the judges were deciding the winners, everybody else went outside the contest hall for a break. I got a few handshakes and encouraging words. Then the time came to announce the winners and we all gathered and were seated inside again. The speech section announcements started. Special prize: not me. Makes sense, I want to be first. Third prize: not me. More excitement, it is close! Second place would be nice too. Second prize: not me! My friend who sat behind me put his hand on my back to push me to get the prize, but I was a little apprehensive. Could it be me? Even though I was tense? It could, because of all the preparation and hard work. It could be! But I did not get the first prize. I did not achieve anything. I even got worse ranking than last year. I got less than 4^th place.

Why?! I played by the book. According to the speech guidelines, I get points for speech originality and my speech was original. I get points for not making mistakes, and I only hesitated at the end. I get points for not looking at the paper, and I didn’t even put the paper in front of me. Why did my heart start beating hard? Why become tense? Why be more so than last year despite being better prepared and having more experience? Things did not add up. The only explanation I could think of was that God did not want me to get first place or improve my results. God did not want me to win at that moment.

This was when I realized that no matter how well I plan ahead and how prepared I am, no matter how hard I work and how I do things correctly, that if God does not want it to pass, I will not achieve what I set out far.

In the first time, I made a big mistake and was completely unprepared and in the second time, I thought well, worked hard and was very well prepared. In both times, God did not want the logical consequences to pass as one would expect. It was as if the rules of cause and effect were temporarily suspended.

I see…

If God wants something to “be” it “becomes”, if He does not want it to be, it does not become.

Now, I comprehend the meaning of fate.

2.11.2009

June progress report: things are starting to look ugly

Hello,

This is the June progress report. You may be wondering why there aren't April and May progress reports. This is simply becuase there was barely any progress in these months. If I wrote posts about them, they would be lack of progress reports, not progress reports.

In April, I studied literally nothing and in May I only studied a little. The reason is that I had many business trips to Riyadh. I took my study materials with me on the trips, but studying while abroad is much easier said than done. The trips not only jeopardized my studies, but everything I did in Amman, my social life included.

At the start of this year I had a simple "broad-stroke" kind of milestone. I wanted to finish volume 2's 12 chapters before Ramadan. At the time, it seemed like there was ample time. More than one week for each volume 2 lesson. But the project in Saudi came and the trips came, and my studies jumped out of the window..

By now I completed Chapter 2, so I have 10 chapters left. This only includes reading comprehension and grammar. It does not include memorizing vocab or kanjis. I haven't studied kanjis in ages now. I am even starting to forget Kanjis that I learned.

hmmm, thinking of my situation, one weird Japanese phrase comes to mind: 骨折り損のくたびれもうけ

A word of advice to young Japanese language students: Study all the Japanese you can before graduating. Take my word for it, because after you graduate (and hopefully get a full-time job):
1. you will barely have time to study
2. barely anybody (teachers or senior volunteers) will have time to give you lessons after 5-6 and on weekends.

until next time.

Shishi Odoshi (Dear Scare): the revenge

This is a response to this video.

Take that, Saqf-dono!